Mondays give me the blues. Not because it’s the start of the work week, rather because my beloved Sheba succumbed to renal failure and passed away on a Monday. It was March 10th to be exact. A month prior Sheba was diagnosed with kidney disease. When the diagnosis was given I was initially grief stricken. Then, I started researching and found out how many people were able to manage their kitty’s disease for years. With this discovery I was optimistic such would be the course for Sheba. Sadly I was wrong. Though we tried everything possible including; holistic options, changing food, and giving fluids at home. None of this extended Sheba’s life, though it was worth the effort. Also might I add, prior to the kidney diagnosis Sheba was being treated for hyperthyroidism for over a year, so that further complicated matters. It’s weird, but even though this post is months overdue I still find myself struggling to write it. Every time I look at the photos of Sheba and walk down memory lane, I cannot help but feel a lump in my chest and my eyes get watery. How do I even begin to honor my fur-baby’s memory with this post? There is so much to say and so many sweet memories to recall. Sharing just a snippet is challenging, but I will do my best. With that being said I will start from the beginning.
Sheba came into my world like a beautiful ray of sunshine dancing amidst fresh air. She was the second cat I became a guardian to in my adult life. At the time I felt Cleo (who was roughly two years old) needed a companion so that she wouldn’t be so bored and lonely when I was at work. A co-worker of mine at the time had a friend who had been feeding a few stray cats and one of the cats had kittens, hence Sheba entered the world. When I first saw Sheba with her litter mates she was the only long-haired kitten. She looked like a little cotton ball with a gray spot on her head and a gray tail. Her mother was white and had a few spots, but she was a beautiful short-haired cat instead. Sheba’s mother lovingly gave her one last bath before I left with her. I must admit this tugged at my heart and a felt a little sad taking little Sheba from her mom and siblings. I often wondered, and still wonder, with all my kitties if and what they remember of their mothers. It may sound silly to say, but that is the truth. We are just now starting to scratch the surface of our understanding of animal intelligence and attachment, so these are things I am curious about. Anyway back to my story. When I first held Sheba she was immediately relaxed with me and even fell asleep in my palm on the way home. When I think about that moment the memory is still so fresh in my mind. To think that 16 yrs. of loving my little cotton ball of a cat evaporated so quickly makes me feel so emotional. These thoughts overwhelm me and make the tears trickle down my face every time they surface…even now. I know 16 yrs. may seem like a long time, but is it ever really when you love someone so much?! I don’t think we are ever quite given enough time with those we love. We always want more…one more moment, one more hug, one more kiss, and one more photo. I guess the limitations and fleetingness are two of the aspects that makes life so precious.
When we lose a loved when there is the physical void that lingers for quite some time. Like all cats, Sheba had her sweet little habits I found incredibly endearing. She loved napping on my shoes, clothes and on or near my camera bag. She adored flowers and had to inspect all that entered the home. Most of all the thing that I miss was that Sheba would press her forehead against my lips when I asked for her to give me a kiss. These are just a few of the many things I miss so much about my little fur-baby. When Brian and I worked on the promo for Boudoir Kitty-Cat he was able to document Sheba showing her affectionate side. Words will never be able to express how grateful I am to have those moments recorded. Sure I have quite a few photos too, but honestly I wish I had photographed her more, even though I photographed her up until the very end.
There is always so much to learn from those we love be it humans or animals. One of the many things I learned from Sheba is that it is never to late to emerge from your shell or bloom. Sheba was a sweet, submissive cat that my other kitties would sometimes give a hard time. Because of this she hid at times. When Brian and I realized this was occurring we started intervening. As a result Sheba felt safer and started hiding less. I really credit Brian for helping Sheba show her more extroverted side. He has a great way with animals and I think they feel very protected in his presence. But when friends would come over Sheba would be the cat that would come out and want to socialize, meanwhile my other two kitties would be hiding from the invaders. I think cats like Sheba are often misunderstood and thus people can be quick to give up on them and label them unsocial. The reality however, is that a lot of love and patience is all that is needed for humans and animals to see their full potential and thrive.
Lastly, I will always remember Sheba as an all around happy cat that would wag her big, fluffy tail like a dog. She was sweet as she was beautiful and had a way for brightening a room. When she passed away she left on the same sunbeam on which she entered this world. It’s the same sunbeam where the little white butterflies like to flit about. Sheba, it was such an honor and a privilege to be your mom. I will forever cherish your memory and treasure the unconditional love you gave. I hope and pray our paths meet again someday so you can press your forehead against my lips one more time. XOXO
